Buttercuts- #2

Sunday, February 4, 2024

WindRiver Golf Club

50 degrees, overcast

Buck, Capt, Pat, A-Hole

February Golf… A time to set the tone for the golf year, lower your expectations, have fun, all the while longing for warm, long summer days. 

It was time to get back to The Club and familiarize ourselves with the finest golfing experience in East Tennessee. 

Our 1:00 tee time could not get here fast enough. We were all ready to put into practice all the instagram golfing videos we had watched over the long winter months. In January, we experienced a “30 year storm” in Knoxville and this afternoon granted us an opportunity to hit the links and forget the frigid temps. 

I picked up Buck and Pat at 12:00- it’s standard to pick Buck up at least an hour before our tee time. He’s always ready and this will give us time to hit the range and get loose before we take breakfast balls, mulligans, re-do’s, and gimme’s. Buck had already broken the news to Pat- we would return to our tried and true position that Buck and I would be “cartners”. Pat took it like a champ, actually I think he was glad to not get burned, spit on, spilled on or have to deal with Buck’s BS. I embrace it- nobody I’d rather ride around with then my boy, Buck. He’s one of a kind and always has a good time. The music is blasting and he asks me far too frequently to read his putts, like I know which way the 15 foot bogey putt is breaking. 

Buck’s neighborhood was all a buzz due to five police cars and the arrest of a not so friendly neighbor. Details are foggy at the moment but it’s safe to say that Gretchen will not be paying her HOA dues in 2024…

Ironically, all the videos we watched and practice swings we took in the living room and front yard, did not translate to the driving range. Buck quickly became disinterested on the range and headed to the putting green to get the flatstick rolling. I stayed back working on the numerous punch 7 irons my round would surely require. Buck moved the cart, and misplaced my driver head cover but that’s all part of playing with Buck. 

The front 9 was actually pretty decent for us- Capt fired a 40, I managed a 42, Pat got hot late and came in at 43, and Buck shot the standard 45. Remind you, 90 is par (my rule) and we were all within range of a sub-par February round- not too shabby by our standards. 

We picked up a 5th, A-Hole, at the turn and our 5-some whistled around the back 9 in majestic fashion. Not many dudes could join this iconic foursome and not miss a beat but A-Hole managed to fit in without any hassle or fuss. I did have some insider info to share about his daughter’s boyfriend that he was not so happy to hear about. 

The final tally: Capt- 83, Me- 86, Buck-87, Pat- 91, A-Hole- no idea what he shot on the back 9 but it was gold. I had to finish par-par to beat Buck but that’s what I do. Winners win. 

Capt played like he had been hitting balls all winter in his simulator at his mansion in the Fork and waxed us all pretty good. Buck will not play again until he wins his 25th state title, and I was pleasantly surprised with my driver and touch around the greens. Pat was Pat- jekyll and hyde round, per usual. 

2024 will be a great year- I feel it. Stay tuned.